Ok, so those of you who follow us on Facebook will have seen that we've continued to share snippets from our lives and articles that catch our eye. But here, on the blog, we've been a wee bit quiet.
Why? Well, to be honest, because of me. Nick has continued to write regularly, and let's face it, he's better at it than me! But my strength is pulling it together, developing it into something people can read. Make it look pretty, so to speak. But me, I've been fatigued (incidentally, Chronically Fatigued, but that's another story), and actually tackling my own thoughts, let alone sharing them, has been overwhelming.
Part of me says that's the time we should have been continuing to share, because we've been so transparent about our journey so far. But it's actually been too hard. Sam started school at the beginning of the year and while that had it's own challenges for an entire term (again a story for another time!), I made a resolution that with this extra time I would find a solution for my ongoing illness and I've been on a journey of discovery ever since.
I've been seeing a holistic doctor who has delved deep into my symptoms and has been Sherlock Holmes-ing through my long list of ailments. It's been a time-consuming and expensive journey and we're not there yet. But I've been on a roller coaster - blood tests, specialist appointments, gastroscopy, colonoscopy, hypnotherapy, mindfulness, yoga, counselling, IV infusions, antibiotics, multi-vitamins, probiotics. I've been trying a lot of different things and seen some amazing wellness professionals. But at the end of the day, it always seems to come back to the trauma. Trauma has put me in a compromised state, allowing my body to invite in a massive infection into my gut. Trauma is triggering my ongoing nausea and malaise. Trauma is likely the cause of my fatigue. And I'm actually a bit fed up with trauma. I'm a bit fed up of life passing me by and not engaging fully in it.
But I have moments of hope, moments where I can appreciate how far I've come on my journey, where I see glimpses of the person I want to be. Trauma is always with me, but it doesn't define me. So going forward, on this wave of hope and the energy I have at this precise moment I decided to write for the first time in 8 months. And that alone is a massive step, so watch out trauma, I'm on a journey of discovery and you're actually not invited!
Annamarie is being very generous in her assessment of my continued writing. I've bashed out a few things here and there, done a little journalling, but nothing particularly special.
For me, it's been about time - I haven't had it. Or rather, I have and I've done other things with it. Work for example (lots of that). And exercise (I've been in the final stages of injury rehab, after my escapades last year). And being a Dad. And trying to support Annamarie through the next stage of her health journey. And trying to have time for an actual marriage in there somewhere. So yeah, not so much with the writing.
Annamarie has done a great job at staying connected on social media. To be honest sometimes I forget we even have a blog, until my phone pings me to say somebody has liked something "we" shared. I'm still on board with the stuff we share, with the reason we started this thing, I still think this is important stuff (maybe now more than ever), but, like most people, I've had shit to do. But it turns out we're still receiving quite a bit of traffic to the website, so maybe it's time to re-visit sharing our journey.
So, there you go. I don't think either of us know how we'll keep going with this, whether this is a re-set, or a new start, or just a one-off. But for now, here it is. Here we are. And so are you. Hello again.
And hello above from Richie, now a big part of our little family unit.
We are a family of 3. This blog is the story of how we almost became 4, why we didn’t, and what we are doing to recover from that experience.